| You're swimming for the shore |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|11:57 pm] |
Yo! I came to this page without knowing what exactly I want to blog but it's alright, I'll just crap something out.
I passed FTT few weeks ago after failing twice and I knew it has got something to do with the slots! Grrr, wasted my money on two afternoon slots the previous times. But I passed the third time on a morning slot, yay for me! :D:D:D
Thinking too much isn't something good, but not thinking at all is bad. I usually allow the heart to rule my life and it felt sucky when the mind takes over especially when I'm having pms. Girls do get pms, and it's not our fault that we have it. Yes, times like these the mind runs wild, did stuns here and there, you get a heavy heart and a stiff shoulder, worst thing you won't feel like doing anything at all. This is how it feels like to have pms, in case you guys(boys) are wondering. Haha.
It's the 3rd day with my star and I'm really happy from the bottom of my heart. Perfect timing and all. This is going to remind me about what I ought to know when I'm not alright. Because right now, I still face the risks of falling back all over again but one thing I know for sure, I'm happy being the girl next door. There's nothing wrong at all. & I still miss my grandmother as much as before. But for this, I'm blessed to be even missing her because of the assurance I had from her, so much so strong to even say that Grandmothers are the best policy in this world. I've a lot more to say but gonna keep it to myself, but just to let everyone know how important it is to treasure the loved ones around you. I'm not perfect at it but I'd do my best to keep them close to heart. I don't wanna ever regret not doing something for them when they're gone. And the best gift for them is to smile everyday :)
Oh yes oh yes! & I AM GOING CAMBODIAAAAAAAAAAA FOR COMMUNITY WORK FROM MARCH TO APRIL! This is going to be so meaningful, something large scale that I've always wanted to try and so thankful that I grabbed the opportunity by going for the interview the other time. :) |
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| Make it happen |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|10:39 pm] |
It's surprisingly amazing that it did not rain the entire day! I wasn't in the mood for training but still went to learn more ball techniques, commitment huh! :)
Everyone's feeling the same way. Tied down by reports and the upcoming mid sem test.
Cmon hardworking people, lets not give up so soon and fight the 6 papers well okay! I sound motivated but I don't know how long this motivation's gonna last.
Tomorrow. I'm still feeling apprehensive but I know it's all worth it. I could not wait any longer because it's in my head for the past few months and lately I'm prompted to go ahead with it. So stuck that most of the time when I drift away during lessons, it's because I'm thinking about it. Feeling a little loose with the cash now, I'm taking this chance so I won't end up cashtight again, which I know it's going to happen soon. Haha.
I'm so going to focus on my revision after tomorrow. I feel that I'm gonna die badly in the exams but I'll try to study hard first!!!
& I'm really tired now. Sleeeeep. |
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| Unlike me |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|08:36 pm] |
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Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.
Literally. Just that there's no summer in Singapore but yeah it gives this whole monsoon period a warmer embrace. & I kinda like it : ) |
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| Time to be |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|10:35 pm] |
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Biological materials
Blood, urine and faeces are relatively easy to decompose by biodegradation.
Mr Kwok: All these are S.H.I.T to you but they are KFC to the microorganisms.
HAHAHAHAHA. I like Environmental Studies with this lecturer of ours. It's definitely more engaging and interesting this way, won't fall asleep anymore!
(y)
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, I'll be a step closer to my star after the consultation.
& studying with dear pr after that :) |
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| Take me away |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|12:56 am] |
Oh star, my dearest star, are you still watching over me from above? Hold on to me and don't ever let me slip back into the old excuses for not becoming the person you want me to be. I miss you damn much tonight and love you twice as much tomorrow. |
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| My monday |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|12:57 am] |
Everyday I feel different about my star, some days I'm feeling all ready, otherwise I'd be feeling apprehensive.
But thanks Derek.F for being supportive and making me clear about my decision. Best thing, for being there all the time I needed to talk about anything (even my randomness), and still there waiting patiently when I basically couldn't multi task over the phone. Who else in this world could hold the phone by the ear for 1 hour without talking? (Btw i think it's really just 30mins)
Hahaha, whatever it is, thanks dude. (: |
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| I've been reflecting |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|01:40 am] |
I got the sudden urge to blog about this, it's going to be wordy.
Many times I allow myself to fall back into something which was obviously a lack of self control. Sometimes I control myself too much that I become a freak that isn't allowed to be a normal being, thats when I start introducing perfectionism into my life and mistakes become shameful. I couldn't seem to find a balancing point and I saw everything so negatively.
All these happened before the start of this semester. & I took so long to confront and convince myself about so many things, now that I look back and reflect, I breathe a sigh of relief.
And I'd always say this, " The worst problem you can face is having a problem with yourself. All other problems will seem less significant. When you can't deal with yourself, you basically have no right to deal with anything/anyone else. "
Noticed the importance of loving yourself?
& I'm glad that I walked out of the whole negative thing and with this, I'm never going to allow myself into such unhealthy situation ever again. I won't say everything's good right now but we all take baby steps to learn. It's all about having everything in moderate, too much of something is not good.
Vulnerability is emotionally liberating, so yeaaaa go after a life full of love and laughter and smile everyday like a fool!!! I like it better when I'm all random and no link! :D:D:D |
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| Can you be my raisin? |
[Nov. 11th, 2009|11:25 pm] |
The OCIP interview was alright but my mind was in a blank when I talked about myself. I haven't gotten an interview since the last one from my previous workplace. I've never wanted something so much that I didn't know where to place my hands when I was talking, I was that nervous & for a very simple reason, I really wish I could go Cambodia, not for anything else for but the right purpose! Fingers crossed.
I can really relate to this song! I have no idea why but it sounded like any usual track when I listened to it in the past, & lately on a random day when my itunes shuffled and hit this, it kind of hit me hard too with its lyrics and meaning and everything else, hit me so hard that I kept singing the chorus in class and my friends' gonna kill me for that, because it hit them too and it's in their head on repeat!
Unwell - Matchbox Twenty
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown and I don't know why
Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be me
Talking to myself in public and dodging glances on the train
And I know
I know they've all been talking bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking somehow I've lost my mind
Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be
I've been talkin in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah
They're taking me away
Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be
Yeah
How I used to be
How I used to be
Yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
(A little unwell)
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
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| My post-moodswing wordy post! :) |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|09:45 pm] |
I feel so stressful right now. I had a sudden moodswing just now and thank God I'm all alone so there are no casualties around & the only one I need to apologise to is myself. Sorry Jayne, now perk yourself up with a little drink and go study!
I feel bad at every slightest thing these days and I can't do anything but to watch everything go their own way because it's all fated yes? I believe in Fate yes. There's Karma too, in case you haven't noticed. Argh, I can't figure a reason why I'm so concerned about the affairs of others. Oh well, sometimes it's really better dealing with your own business. But there are times too when you're truly concerned.
Wish I could sing my heart out again like last Friday! It was so great that I could think back with a smile. Sort of triggered back my passion and everything seems to be falling back in order again, feels good, feels utterly comfortable. I like it when I break my voice in front of others without feeling embarrassed. I like it when I find my way back home.
I think being happy is the most important task on earth. Yes it's a task. Not everyone is truly happy but yes we learn how to be. That would mean lowering the expectations and getting rid of perfectionism(okay maybe you still need abit of that in life) and surrounding yourself with happy people! But at the end of the day, it's very much up to yourself and we all got a fair bit to learn.
Everyone deserves to be happy, that includes YOU!
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| Nobody's life is perfect |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|04:37 am] |
I'm blogging on my bed & stretching my legs before they stiffen up.
Willis' birthday celebration at ecp was awesome! The huge crowd he had was amazing as well (: The birthday boy had the privilege to put his hands over the shoulders of the many girls who wanted a photo with him! I just hope that I won't be seeing him online anymore on Valentine's Day! TIME TO MINGLE DUDE, WE LOVE YOU AS USUAL :)
With our busy schedules, it's near to impossible that we meet up often especially when the cousins are working daily. Went powerhouse and boiler, just reached home and my legs are numbed, i can't feel them! Haha. It was a great night with the loved ones and happy is the only word that's able to describe how I feel tonight!
Did a bit of the report when I came home, and now I'm all exhausted.
Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be
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| Boy I hear you in my dreams |
[Nov. 7th, 2009|01:10 pm] |
Everything's sold out at the Kate Spade's warehouse sale. Reached there early in the morning, it was only the 2nd day of sale, big SOLD OUT posters were already on the wall and that marks my wasted trip allllllllllllll the way to Ubi Cres. Sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
REPORT TIME!!!!!!! |
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| Stars shine |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|11:30 pm] |
Shine, remember you can shine. The wonderful afternoon made me hear myself through a recording device, realising how important it is to listen carefully and how blessed I am to be able to hear. Haven't been putting in much effort since the day I lost confidence in music in general. Interest is there but heart is afraid, you get me? I'm even more ready to get my star.
What is important to me may not show much significance to others. if you get what I'm trying to say :)
Today was fun yet tiring. 5 hours of sleep a day is seriously not enough.
1. Going to Kate Spade's warehouse sale tomorrow!! I hope I'll be able to find something I like! (y)
2. Will's 21st birthday party in the evening!!
Lucky (Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat)
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
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| So much more to be |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|11:16 pm] |
My mum's super cute, seriously!
We were gossiping about the argument between both neighbours from our left and right units.
Me: Should record and send to Wan bao.
(I said wanbao on purpose because I was only trying to make her understand what I was saying and besides, that's the only paper she reads daily)
Mom: Stomp
Me: Sia la, you know stomp sia.
Never underestimate your mother's ability to connect to the cyber world okay, now she's super proud of herself, gave self praises and says she knows the latest cyber lingo. Haha!
Anyway, let me rant a little about work this evening. It was pretty bad, very bad actually.
School ended at 1pm and I rushed off immediately after that to catch the train down to ssdc for my FTT, was ten minutes late and the officer looked at me as though I was some freak as I tried to catch my breath.
& in the end? I FAILED FTT, whoohoo? Fail sia, both of them on my left and right also fail sia. FAIL FAIL FAILLLLL.
I booked my next test date on a Saturday morning slot and I hope I'll seriously pass this time because a morning slot is finally available! Fingers crossed.
Took a train to town and went shopping, alone! Hahaha, weird? NOT AT ALL.
I enjoyed every little bit of the me-time I had today!
Shopping alone saves alot of energy from trying to talk to your partner and dicuss about the clothes, it also gives you the freedom to walk freely and obviously spend lesser too.
Well, it was only 3 hours of shopping before I had to leave for work at Hougang. My legs were aching terrible and eyes dry too, and I have to mention again, work was terrible today.
I hit a new low in my earnings and eyeball-absorbing dry eyes, dry throat and aching legs are all I've got in the end.
Tomorrow is a brand new day, brand new me, brand new everything.
Goodnight!
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| Within |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|10:33 pm] |
So many things to look forward to, in terms of reports and the work load.
1. BIA Practical Report (Due 9/11)
2. PI Practical Report (Due 13/11)
3. ENVSTA Practical Report (Due 16/11)
4. PM&AI Formal Report (Due 20/11)
Dear friends do take note! Correct me if I'm wrong about the reports or the dates!
//
Conversation between a mom and her child
Mom: If you don't depend on yourself, who can you depend on when we're no longer around?
Child: But I'm still young, only a teenager
Mom: Why can't you be a teenager who is independent?
Child: If need be, I will.
Mom: No, you must be, at all times.
Most of the times, mothers make the most sense out of anything and everything. (:
" My permanent star is going to shine forever within myself, even when no one's looking I'll play what my ears hear and express what my heart feels. It may seem insignificant on the outside but right within I feel it permanently with a careful reminder that I have something good and it has not gone to waste. "
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| Stars shining bright above you |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|10:48 pm] |
I'm quite sick of school after two weeks of waking up early including weekends, and I'm seriously not a morning person :(
Family dinner a few hours ago @ The Bottle Tree (y)
Gil's belated birthday bbq @ Gil's place the day before (y)
My fingers are itching for Mahjong!!!! Anyone? Text me okay!
Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2009|01:49 pm] |
Talking to the CHEE makes me older by a year. hahaha
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlPb8vsvcoM&feature=player_embedded
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
mayb u will change ur mind bout chestnut
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
:D
Jayne says:
?
Jayne says:
chestnut is a rabbit
Jayne says:
not a dog
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
wtf
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
no link
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
= =
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
mayb u see le wan to buy dog instead LAr
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
tat's y change mind bout chestnut
Jayne says:
CHEY
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
y chestnut rabbit not dog
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
.
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
....
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
U NEED OMEGA 3 OIL!
Jayne says:
If you know i no link you don't send youtube link to me la! idiot
Jayne says:
you buy omega 3 oil for me lor
Jayne says:
so rich
CHEE AEONSPORTS .. dam enthu for smm.. says:
wat are hiccups
Jayne says:
now you no link. -.-
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| Need to |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|11:11 pm] |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY G.I GIL!!!
GREAT SWEET 19 AND FOREVER 19!!!! :D
painkillers wrist busy piano training work tired restless lectures clubhouse friends reports 8am sian macdonalds tutorials MitchAlbom coffee maggiemee money tennis temasek music water shingz life routine someone someone someone.
30 words to sum up the week.
I like how the load's keeping me sane, no time for worries and I'm keeping faith :)
In short, busybee works hard for honey, all sweet and happy!
By the way, anyone has joo chiat road game piece give me okaaaaay? pleaseeeeeee? :D
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| Colbie Caillat |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|12:17 am] |
I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
Im scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling
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| Purpose defined :) |
[Oct. 28th, 2009|11:35 pm] |
Met Adriel and guys after training ytd, haven't seen aaron and the rest for so long! Work was alright today and I'm thinking of how to make tomorrow an interesting day for myself. It's gonna be a long day in school with training in the evening. Yes, it'll be good! (y)
Give me a one way ticket to somewhere insane, I'll buy the ticket back home when I've had enough.
You made a grand entrance into my life but I'll find the exit out for you.
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